Addicted to porn and masturbation!

Addicted to porn and masturbation!

Besides my work as a soft skills trainer and motivational speaker, I also work as a life coach for one of the emotional wellness platform in India. One of the most pressing concerns that people who are in the age group 18-30 happen to be facing is the habit of watching porn and over masturbation. More than 90% of the population from this age group would belong to the people who are in their late teens or early adulthood. And 60% of the clients who get connected with me their concerns would be related to porn and masturbation.

With the growing numbers, it is but important to talk about it out more in the open, and also understand some underlying concerns that had surfaced in the process.

First things first, addicted to porn and masturbation is just like any other addiction and the only difference that surrounds or I should say are the myths and confusions that come with it. Myths surrounding it can be as weird as someone believing that masturbating daily might increase their height or may give them an improved jawline. These two instances might seem to be very funny but it also points out towards the lack of education regarding this topic.

Although it is very normal and natural to explore and have curiosity related to sex during teenage years or in the early twenty’s, however, when one is indulging in it without any control and starts to feel disoriented then it’s an alarm.

I also remember the day when as a teenager I was curious about porn too. During those days porn was not easily accessible and one had to rent VCD’s and for those who didn’t have the luxury of a CD player had to rent it too from the numerous CD library shops that mushroomed back then. I was in 11th standard. But as a normal phase, it passed by me too.

But looking at the way this passing menace has gripped not only the teenagers but the youngsters who are in their late twenty’s or early thirty’s and rather than relying upon any real relationship they are solely depended on the ‘mental harem’ to gratify their senses is something very worrisome.

It is also important to understand that porn and masturbation is also like a medium of escape (the easiest accesible escape) when things are stressful in life. As self-gratification gives a temporary sense of relief or to false sense of coping up with life stress so one would often find people indulging in these habits as a source of coping mechanism.

Does it help? The answer is absolutely not!

The habit of porn and heavy indulgence in masturbation creates a state of mental and emotional agitation and if not controlled then it can affect one’s physical health too. The most common question that I encounter from youngsters is “I want to stop this habit but I can’t control myself”. The question is who else will come and control it for you? The indulgence has so much increased that increasingly high number of those who are addicted to this habit has shown some kind of perversion or the other.

For many, what started as an innocent curiosity have become a dangerous indulgence which results in frustration and being reduced to just a slave of your mind.

The indulgence has so much increased that increasingly high number of those who are addicted to this habit has shown some kind of perversion or the other and don’t treat women any more than just an object of gratification. It is also important to note that both the genders have been impacted by these negative elements.

For those who are really looking to get out of this habit needs to make a decision to stop the habit once and look at life from a different perspective. Don’t try to control, if you want to stop this habit in one go it’s going to relapse with a higher force. It’s important to understand that the habit which took years to form would need your patience and time to deal with. You gradually need to cultivate the positive habits and work on them day in day out.

For those who want to start then can make a weekly plan to start with. Start with a simple goal as in how many numbers you can reduce your habit of masturbation, say for example if you were masturbating 7 to 10 times in a week, try to reduce it by 2-3 times in the first week and gradually bring to masturbating two to three times a week which is healthy for both your mental and physical growth. Try to understand the science behind it, I would advise those who are reading it to go through the relation between testosterone hormone and masturbation. For those who are in fitness and have some serious goals, they need to be all the more disciplined.

For both the indulgence in porn and masturbation, you can make a log table and record the number of times you indulged yourself in the habit. In this manner, you can bring more accountability to control the habits.

The most important thing to do is to get busy with productive work in your life. If you have to indulge in something then indulge yourself in improving your life by updating and upgrading yourself by gaining knowledge and by improving your health. Because when you are too busy improving yourself and grow there won’t be any spare time for you to be able to waste it.

The goal is to reduce the masturbation and stop watching porn once and for all. One moment of distraction can go a long way to impact your goal in life in a big way.  You always have the power to choose, and let not the complaint of your stressful life be an excuse to indulge in the negative habits of life.

If readers want to ask me anything then I would request them to leave me a message or comment. You can also let me know if you want me to cover any particular topic.

Credit:Google images.

 

 

 

Stop Procrastinating!

Stop Procrastinating!

How to stop procrastinating?

When you sleep the whole day and are not able to push yourself out of the bed when you repeat the words that “I know but I don’t want to but I can’t, when you give yourself one million ways of ifs and buts then understand that you have been bitten by the bug of procrastination.

Often when I hear people questioning that “I want to be rich but I don’t know HOW”, “I want to get fit but don’t know HOW”, “I want to start reading books, but I end up watching TV”, “I want to stop worrying but I get more insecure”…so tell me what should I do and HOW should I stop all the worries and achieve whatever I wish.

Youngsters also frequently ask sounding frustrated about the habit of over masturbation and watching porn. “I want to stop this habit as it is ruining my peace and energy, but the problem is I can’t”.

“I plan to study but when I sit and open my books I start to day dream and get distracted by million things and by the time I realize I end up already wasting my time”.

Wish all the day, and so you wish but nothing is going to happen. You are not procrastinating but actually, you are in the “habit of procrastination”.

Don’t you really know HOW to? Tell me your schedule and I will tell you whether you are building your life to become rich or its just a mental speculation of hollow aspiration.

Tell me about your calorie intake, and I will tell you whether you really want to get fit or just ruminating on failure to stick to a diet and exercise?

Stop giving yourself the excuses of  “not being able to” anymore. If you desire something then it has to be backed up by your efforts and perseverance. And probably that’s the reason behind the success rate of people with talent without motivation or perseverance is lesser than people with average talent and with a high level of perseverance and motivation.

Procrastination is an extension of chronic thought of ‘if’s’ and ‘but’s’. “What if this and what if that? I know everything but I don’t want to”… First of all, there’s a huge difference between knowing and doing. Everybody knows what’s the right thing to do, and it doesn’t matter at all and makes no difference if you are not converting your knowing into actions. If you are not doing anything about your ‘knowing’, then it is as good as a big zero-0.

So how do you stop procrastinating?

If you are expecting to read a trick or some quick fix tips, stop reading and leave the blog right away.

I see that you are still here and really want to get over this habit. So, let me tell you the secret of stopping to procrastinate, and that secret is to START!

Stop being caged in your own myriad of thoughts and START. Whether you are a teenager, whether you are a youngster in your early 20’s struggling with your career, whether you are someone who is struggling with your relationship, whether you want to control your financial situation, whether you are disappointed with your health status and the way you look…Take a decision to START, take a decision to start the ignition, take a decision to stop worrying, and START to take actions.

Each day, every day start taking a decision that will enhance your life, that will enhance your health and habits. You might ask me, where do I start? Start from anywhere, your life can be compared to a messy closet and when you think about rearranging it, it might give you anxiety but the point here is not to look at the closet and worry but starting to arrange it. And you can start from any section. Once you start it would just be about your effort and patience.

Change would come with you or without you, time would pass by with you or without you, and life will move on with you or without you. You need to be the one to decide whether you keep resisting it or embrace it and make it meaningful for yourself.

The kind of life you want is right in this moment happening, don’t complain when you are in a toxic relationship, don’t complain when you don’t like the way you are, don’t complain of being sick and tired of the job that you are in, don’t complain about your habits that you are putting you down. Because you yourself have been deciding to be in this state, to be with the person who treats you like a garbage, to be

Because you yourself have been deciding to be in this state, to be with the person who treats you like a garbage, to be in a job which doesn’t give you any fulfillment, to be in a self created shell. So stop complaining and DECIDE to break the pattern. If you are not happy do something about it or SHUT UP!

Take a decision to change, then plan to implement those changes, begin and repeat it each day, every day!

Credits: Google Images.