Besides my work as a soft skills trainer and motivational speaker, I also work as a life coach for one of the emotional wellness platform in India. One of the most pressing concerns that people who are in the age group 18-30 happen to be facing is the habit of watching porn and over masturbation. More than 90% of the population from this age group would belong to the people who are in their late teens or early adulthood. And 60% of the clients who get connected with me their concerns would be related to porn and masturbation.
With the growing numbers, it is but important to talk about it out more in the open, and also understand some underlying concerns that had surfaced in the process.
First things first, addicted to porn and masturbation is just like any other addiction and the only difference that surrounds or I should say are the myths and confusions that come with it. Myths surrounding it can be as weird as someone believing that masturbating daily might increase their height or may give them an improved jawline. These two instances might seem to be very funny but it also points out towards the lack of education regarding this topic.
Although it is very normal and natural to explore and have curiosity related to sex during teenage years or in the early twenty’s, however, when one is indulging in it without any control and starts to feel disoriented then it’s an alarm.
I also remember the day when as a teenager I was curious about porn too. During those days porn was not easily accessible and one had to rent VCD’s and for those who didn’t have the luxury of a CD player had to rent it too from the numerous CD library shops that mushroomed back then. I was in 11th standard. But as a normal phase, it passed by me too.
But looking at the way this passing menace has gripped not only the teenagers but the youngsters who are in their late twenty’s or early thirty’s and rather than relying upon any real relationship they are solely depended on the ‘mental harem’ to gratify their senses is something very worrisome.
It is also important to understand that porn and masturbation is also like a medium of escape (the easiest accesible escape) when things are stressful in life. As self-gratification gives a temporary sense of relief or to false sense of coping up with life stress so one would often find people indulging in these habits as a source of coping mechanism.
Does it help? The answer is absolutely not!
The habit of porn and heavy indulgence in masturbation creates a state of mental and emotional agitation and if not controlled then it can affect one’s physical health too. The most common question that I encounter from youngsters is “I want to stop this habit but I can’t control myself”. The question is who else will come and control it for you? The indulgence has so much increased that increasingly high number of those who are addicted to this habit has shown some kind of perversion or the other.
For many, what started as an innocent curiosity have become a dangerous indulgence which results in frustration and being reduced to just a slave of your mind.
The indulgence has so much increased that increasingly high number of those who are addicted to this habit has shown some kind of perversion or the other and don’t treat women any more than just an object of gratification. It is also important to note that both the genders have been impacted by these negative elements.
For those who are really looking to get out of this habit needs to make a decision to stop the habit once and look at life from a different perspective. Don’t try to control, if you want to stop this habit in one go it’s going to relapse with a higher force. It’s important to understand that the habit which took years to form would need your patience and time to deal with. You gradually need to cultivate the positive habits and work on them day in day out.
For those who want to start then can make a weekly plan to start with. Start with a simple goal as in how many numbers you can reduce your habit of masturbation, say for example if you were masturbating 7 to 10 times in a week, try to reduce it by 2-3 times in the first week and gradually bring to masturbating two to three times a week which is healthy for both your mental and physical growth. Try to understand the science behind it, I would advise those who are reading it to go through the relation between testosterone hormone and masturbation. For those who are in fitness and have some serious goals, they need to be all the more disciplined.
For both the indulgence in porn and masturbation, you can make a log table and record the number of times you indulged yourself in the habit. In this manner, you can bring more accountability to control the habits.
The most important thing to do is to get busy with productive work in your life. If you have to indulge in something then indulge yourself in improving your life by updating and upgrading yourself by gaining knowledge and by improving your health. Because when you are too busy improving yourself and grow there won’t be any spare time for you to be able to waste it.
The goal is to reduce the masturbation and stop watching porn once and for all. One moment of distraction can go a long way to impact your goal in life in a big way. You always have the power to choose, and let not the complaint of your stressful life be an excuse to indulge in the negative habits of life.
If readers want to ask me anything then I would request them to leave me a message or comment. You can also let me know if you want me to cover any particular topic.