Meeting myself…

It was not just another morning when i would snuggle in the bed for some extra sleep, rather I couldn’t sleep for the whole night, i was nervous..frantic..and aroused with an anticipation of meeting the woman with whom i have been talking over the phone for the last couple of months. We first saw each other on a picnic but never had our conversation running. I always give others an impression of being a snob and I would not be surprised if our conversation didn’t start at all that day. I didn’t even know her name and didn’t even inquired from my friends who seemed to be knowing about her. Someone told me that her name is ‘Megha’. Thanks to Orkut, I received a new friend request, my eyes lit up when I saw that it was her’s. The first exchange of words is always stimulating, the emotions run high, it feels like an elongated foreplay and you still want more…Chating was not enough anymore, soon we exchanged numbers and we would soon be spending hours on call every now and then. That’s it..we wanted to see each other badly..this was the unexpressed truth.

I was trying to curb the tornado of thoughts while sitting in the cab, and i was having difficulty keeping my mind and heart at ease. In another two and half hours or so I would see her for the first time after that day. I knew I loved her and I wanted to tell my heart the same but…

Aries fall in love very easily, but they keep searching the love they look out for..till then they keep falling and hurting themselves. The cab driver started the car and I was already lost in my thoughts…”Bro, I wanted to tell you something..(pause)…I am having an affair with Purnima..and our relationship is very physical one…” Those words of my cousin echoed through my nerves and senses. I was numb, and I couldn’t utter a word..only thing prominent was silence. What followed afterwards was very obvious, I recouped from the loss..I was just being plain stupid of not being able to understand and see things as they are before..now that I did..i bid a farewell to my first relationship..or was it a relationship at all? Shit does happens..

….creennnhhhh!!! a sudden break and I came back to my senses, a sharp turn indeed! Another one hour to go, my phone rings, with an excited voice “where have you reached?”..”I will be there in some time”..”I am waiting here at PB (police bazaar)..come soon”

Soon, i was lost in my thoughts again…at times life hits you very hard, no matter how strong you think you are..life gets the better of you..I was aware of everything, but the foolish ‘me’ took the control and had the audacity to say yes to an affair which would soon meet its dead end. We never had our goodbyes..Radha left for Malaysia to be with her boy friend and continue her studies..and I was left in Delhi only to be occupied with loneliness..

My heart continued its search for love..whom he can say mine..someone would hold this fragile heart of mine..but i was not sure about..may be i left thinking..

‘Welcome to Shillong’ ..i saw it on the signage and I could feel my heartbeat..i was thinking how to present myself, how do i greet her..should i just be formal..or hmmm mmmm..i don’t know! There she was standing right there..smiling at me..”hey..finally we meet”.. I could see the twinkle in her eyes, and i could see that i didn’t had to try hard to be myself..and didn’t had to think too much before speaking. “Shall we?” ┬áthen we took a taxi to our designated place and we sat there for hours talking in between, there was unspoken words, there were unspoken emotions..and we didn’t had to speak much to understand each other..and there..right there we kissed..the first kiss..it was tender, it was gentle, and my heart recognized the soul it was looking for.

Seven years have gone by..still at times wonder when and how did the time fly? You just speak my heart every time i try to utter the word and so do i..it happens every time..every single time. You are just me..and I am just you..you are the expressive side of me…the unknown side of me..and I finally found myself..yes, I finally meet myself!